Why We're Raising Trilingual Children

In our household, there are a lot of languages. On any given day you can hear our eldest daughter pleading with my husband for "leche", before turning to me and demanding "milk". My husband and I debate what to have for dinner - and, yes, sometimes argue - in Spanish. My parents call and Swiss-German chatter flows from my phone. Stories are read in English, Spanish and German, depending on what gets pulled from the shelf. When we're out and about, we hear Swiss-German from the locals, and a plethora of other languages being spoken by other expats in our city.

Are you confused yet?

When we talk about our language set-up, a lot of people assume that it would be confusing for us, never mind our kids, and some even criticise our decision to introduce so many languages to our girls from the outset. They won't be able to keep up when they go to school, people argue, because they don't hear the local language at home. J mixes her languages, they point out, so it must be too much for her.

I disagree. Sure, my two-year-old speaks a bit less than most of her peers in any given language (A has yet to show us her language skills), and J's preferred language so far isn't German, but I know that she'll catch up when she's immersed in German at school. We see that already when she goes to her Swiss childminder or speaks to her grandparents. She does understand, and is able to speak German, she just lacks the motivation at home. But do I see this as being a problem for her in the future? No, not really.

Growing up, I lived in English-speaking countries and spoke Swiss-German at home. Granted, that's one language less than my girls have to contend with, but I made it work. No, strike that. I can't say I made it work because it never felt like work. It was just the way we did things, and that's how I hope it will be for our girls, too. I see how effortlessly our eldest daughter switches between languages at home, and I'm filled with hope that it will be so. Okay, she mixes languages sometimes, but she's two years old. I think we can cut her some slack on that one.

I know that language is such a personal subject for so many families. As families become more and more multicultural, there's an increasing desire for parents to show their children different aspects of their heritage and culture, and language plays a huge role in that. Moreover, language plays a huge role in our own sense of self. I could, absolutely, speak to my children in German (or Spanish) and cut out the English for them, but I wouldn't feel as able to portray my authentic self in either one of those languages. And who goes into parenting wanting to show their children an inauthentic version of themselves? Fair play to anyone who does - I'm sure you have your reasons - but for me it just sounds exhausting and, frankly, false.

One of our greatest hopes in raising trilingual children is that they will carry a little bit of each culture with them. When asked where they come from, I hope they will consider their Spanish heritage and their Englishness, before simply answering "Switzerland". I hope that they'll want to learn more about each culture so that they can claim at least a part of it as their own. And, above all else, I hope that they'll use their languages to see the world, to understand its people, and to make their own mark someday.

There are so many things in parenting that are open to interpretation and criticism. I can honestly understand the arguments of those who think our trilingual home is little short of insanity. But in the grand scheme of things, I truly believe that these first few years of mixed languages and maybe even occasional confusion will be worth it. I want to give my children the world, and this is the best way I know how to do it.


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If you're interested in bringing multiple languages into your family's everyday, I wrote some tips on creating a bilingual home over on Mother.