Why I won't pierce my baby's ears

It's midday and my ten-month-old daughter's nap means I have a moment to myself. I post a rare picture of her to Facebook – we have international family who like to stay in the loop that way. A few minutes later, my picture gets a comment. Instead of “She's grown!” or “So cute!” it reads “Where are her earrings?”. Soon after, another comment pops up: “I agree – get that girl some earrings!”

A couple of nights later, I'm out for a drink with friends. They both have babies that are similar ages to mine, so I ask their opinion about piercing babies ears. Both enthusiastically say that they would do it.

“But it's changing their bodies without their permission,” I say.

“You cut your daughter's hair,” answers my friend. “And she didn't give you permission for that.”

“Her hair will grow back,” I counter. “Those holes would be there forever.”

Our conversation continues a while longer when I ask why they haven't pierced their babies ears, given their positive response to the idea. “We have boys,” they both answer immediately.

This bothers me. Why does my daughter need earrings when their sons are perfectly fine as they naturally are?

“She'll look like a boy if she doesn't have earrings.”

So? It's true that I'm forever responding to compliments about my 'little boy' with “Thanks, but she's a girl.”, but who cares? My daughter doesn't know that she's a girl yet, as much as their sons don't know that they're boys, so what does it matter what other people think? Babies look pretty unisex at first anyway.

“But she'd look so pretty with earrings!”

And that's what floors me. The child in question is mine, so of course I think she's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen, pureed carrots smeared in her hair or no. But beyond all of that, what is this attitude teaching her? Before she's even old enough to roll her eyes at the idea, piercing her ears would show her that she's not good enough. That she needs something more than what nature gave her to be socially acceptable, while her male counterpoints don't. And I'm not about to get on board with that.

So no, I am not going to pierce her ears – at least not until she asks me to – no matter how many Facebook comments I get trying to convince me otherwise. I am, however, going to continue dressing her in bright blue 'boys' clothes just as often as in pink dresses, because she's beautiful regardless of what she wears. And I will tell her every day of her life that she is enough, because she is, with or without earrings.